I know that as we were growing up, our parents tried to teach us to show appreciation when we received a gift or a favor from someone. We were supposed to send a thank you card or say thank you in person for whatever was appropriate. But there is a time when it seems some people go to far, almost to the point of embarrassment. And I know that for some people it is necessary to express their gratitude often and in many ways. But for others a simple vocal thank you is more than enough.
Let me illustrate a few examples of how some people express their appreciation for a deed done for them. Let’s say that you have the skill to help them with a task that would otherwise have cost them to get accomplished. Now taking the time to do for a friend or neighbor is something we all do, usually a thank you will suffice, but when that person not only says thank you, they send a card then also stand up in a group meeting an announce that you had done a wonderful deed, it is too much.
Or if you do something as simple as recording a TV show for them, a simple thank you is enough once they have offered to replace your DVD disk even when you refuse the replacement. But to add a thank you card, and purchase candy or some such item to give you, is considered to much.
It is important that you understand the person that is the target of your appreciation. When you over appreciative, then it tends to make that person not want to help you in the future, we do not like to be embarrassed. If a person likes to receive many thanks and you do not express it enough, then that person will be less likely to help in the future also. After a time or two, it should be apparent as to the personality you are dealing with and you should express your appreciation appropriately. But to say that you know they don’t want thanks and then do it anyway is, in my opinion, going way too far.
Now, I happen to be one of those people who would just soon you say a simple thank you and then forget about it. I don’t mind helping people and doing things for others such as the Church or an organization, but I will back away when the appreciation is overly expressed especially when they know that is not to my likening.
An act of kindness is given from the heart, not for worldly publication as to how good a person you are. When you give a gift from the heart, the appreciation you get is in the knowing inside that you have given of yourself and that is all the appreciation you really need. There is no need to stroke an ego, or to need accolades to build your self worth.
I guess what I am trying to say is that you simply know the person you are dealing with and accept their values when it comes time to thank them for a gift or deed. It will enhance your friendship and should you ever need help again, you will get a more willing response.